“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
How much more stress and uncertainty can people handle? Do we really need to wear a mask? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel or is it a train racing toward us? Will life ever return to normal? These are some of the trillion dollar questions people keep asking.
Unquestionably, Covid-19 has disrupted our lives, lifestyles, relationships, and behaviors. We’re sheltering at home with only immediate family and “zooming” with other loved ones and friends; schools, places of worship, barber shops, beauty and nail salons, gyms, Disneyland, Hollywood Bowl and Greek Theater are closed; courses are being taught online; workers work remotely and patients telemedicine with their doctors; offices, non-essential work locations, hospitals and clinics are shuttered; customers stand in line to shop; and purchasing take-out food rather than dining-in and watching Netflex instead of going to a movie theater are the norm. Businesses are struggling to survive and either filing for bankruptcy or going out of business; employees are furloughed, laid-off or terminated; live sporting events are a no-no; and “OMG”, we have to wear masks and gloves, social distance, bump knuckles or elbows, frequently wash our hands, and self-quarantine. Everyone longs to be unfettered; free to choose where and when to go; socialize with family and friends; and just resume a normal life.
Ah, but the devil is in the details! What really is normal? Christine B.L. Adams, MD and Psychiatrist wrote in Psychology Today, May 2019, that in her years of psychiatric experience she has concluded that “there’s no such thing as normal.” The definition for normal varies by person, time, place, situation and what is socially understood. What might be considered normal by one society, culture or community may be considered abnormal or deviant by another.
For example, California Penal Codes consider public urination and defecation to be disorderly conduct and a public nuisance. A person can be charged with a misdemeanor for indecent exposure and “lewd” behavior and fined $1,000. Despite the fact that there is no specific statewide “public peeing” or “pooping” laws, most Californians would not consider such acts as normal. “Public peeing” maybe, but “public pooping”, never! However, if you ask a backpacker, she would say this is quite normal when trudging up or down a mountain. Michael Phelps has said “I think everybody pees in the pool. It’s kind of a normal thing to do for swimmers.” My wife would certainly disagree with Michael about this being normal and require him to use the toilet to pee if he ever swam in our pool. This is something she requires of all guests, including grandkids.
Anushray Sing reports “In India: Everything is Sunhine and Rainbows!”, 2018, that “in India, public urination is prevalent to rural as well as urban spheres and open defecation is a problem more relevant and centric to rural areas. There might be toilets constructed in accordance to some government scheme, but still somehow choosing to defecate outdoors takes precedent.” He goes on to say that peeing in public occurs from swanky metropolis to the most disorganized rural areas. Of course, this is a different country and difficult culture.
In “How do we define normal?”, Tom Scheve writes that “When we ponder what’s normal, it’s often in the sense of determining whether the way we think and act is the same, or at least similar to, the majority of other people.” American sociologist, Allan Horwitz, believes that statistically normal is whatever trait most people in a group display. He uses as an example the fact that the majority of Nazi Germanys citizens supported policies of racism and genocide in the 1930s and 1940s. “Was Nazism, then, a normal philosophy for humans to hold?”
If 95% of your community is Christian and you are Muslim, are you abnormal? If 90% your community are heterosexuals and you are a Lesbian, are you abnormal? If 93% of your student body is White and you are Asian, are you abnormal? If you are a libertarian and not a registered democrat or republican, are you abnormal? If the majority of the people drive their automobiles to and from work and you take public transportation, are you abnormal? If you have never owned a brand new automobile, are you abnormal? If the majority in your community does not use marijuana and you do, are you abnormal? If you are unemployed, on welfare and homeless, are you abnormal? If you collect plastic bottles and cans in a shopping cart for recycling, are you abnormal? If you do not have a college degree, own a computer, have an IPhone or subscribe to cable TV, are you abnormal? If you don’t have or use a debit card, are you abnormal? If you live in Boyle Heights and not in the Pacific Palisades, are you abnormal? If you have never vacationed in Europe, been on a cruise, visited Disneyland or swam in the ocean, are you abnormal? According to clinical psychologist Avram Holmes of Yale University, “abnormal behavior isn’t necessarily weird or bad or indicative of mental illness, because there is no absolute definition of normal and no single best way to behave.” Furthermore, for many normal is defined as famine, poverty, discrimination, abuse, suffering, depression, hardship, loneliness, no healthcare, human trafficking, incarceration, and just plain survival. Do you think these individuals worry about be being considered abnormal? I doubt they are not thinking about getting back to the office, relaxing at Starbucks, wearing a mask, or shopping at Trader Joes, Nordstrom’s, Home Goods or even Marshalls.
At one time or another, most of us were taught to believe that a large percentage of the population is normal. Eventually we were shown a bell curve and explained that most of us fell under the middle of the bell (i.e. 68.3% of the total distribution). Statistically, this is considered to be a normal or average distribution.
As one moves to the right or left of normal, you are moving toward what could be referred to as abnormal. This means that 31.4% of the distribution has a chance to be abnormal. If given the choice, my preference is to move to the right of normal rather than to the left of normal. This begs the question, if normal is just average, what’s so great about normal? Why are so many clamoring to return to normal? Maya Angelou believed “If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be”.
While many understand and support the need to deviate from what has been considered normal and are willing to make personal sacrifices for the health and well-being of all, some question the need for the disruption and such draconian actions that deprive us of our civil liberties and the right to choose what’s best. The battle against Covid-19 has politicized and polarized our society. The wearing of a mask and maintaining social distancing are considered fear mongering, a sign of weakness and a lack of patriotism and contrary to American values. They are eager to return to normal and restart the economy regardless of the risk.
This pandemic is giving us an opportunity to stretch our minds and ponder how to minimize the risk of endangering lives while changing society for the better? C.S. Lewis said “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Rather than focusing on how things were in the past, shouldn’t we be focusing on how things could be different? Do we really want more traffic congestion, smog, homelessness, crime, hate, social injustices, divisiveness, prejudice, and the marginalization of people? Or, do we want the “Next Normal” to encompass a return to a germ-free office, better educational and training opportunities, safer schools, peaceful communities, world peace, more jobs, a robust and sustainable economy, less poverty, a larger middle-class, equal employment opportunities, affordable housing and healthcare, less costly education, less traffic congestion, clean air, a better quality of life, social justice, greater appreciation for and understanding of diversity, lesser dependency on government assistance, a more responsive government, and an electorate that is more concerned with the good of the whole rather than personal political agendas.
What is so interesting about the yearning to get back to normal is, as Brandon Ambrosino points out, “…we kind of want to go back to where we were, but we also kind of don’t. We want things to be the same, but we also want them to be different.” Talk about cognitive dissonance! This may account for why so many are in denial about the threat of the virus and refuse to wear masks or practice social distancing. It is somewhat analogous to the unwillingness Americans had to getting involved in World War II. The war was not perceived by the majority of Americans as a problem for the United States but rather a European problem. It took President Franklin Roosevelt at the urging of Winston Churchill to conjure up a scheme for heightening the awareness of Americans to the real threat Adolph Hitler posed. It took his leadership and vision to unite Americans to stem a worldwide threat. Once done, others followed.
The lesson learned from researching the meaning of normal is it all depends on who you ask. Scheve goes on to state “Normal seen through the eye of the beholder is filtered through the lens of society.” In fact, as in the case of Hitler and other so-called past and present leaders, normal can be used to divide people rather than unite them. Normal, abnormal, and deviant are merely subjective labels used to categorize individuals and behaviors. Are we really sure we want to “return to normal”? This pandemic has given us an opportunity to better understand what really matters in life and how things can change for the better. It would be a shame to miss this opportunity. The “Next Normal” has to be better than the old one. Civility, respect and compassion must trump hate, envy and greed. The Next Normal should emphasize curiosity, courage, calmness, love and fun rather than fear. Hopefully, together the world will be better prepared to anticipate and manage future pandemics and crisis.
“What is normal? Normal is only ordinary, mediocre. Life belongs to the rare, exceptional individual who dares to be different.” Virginia C. Andrews
Wishing You a Happy, Safe and Normal 4th of July!!!